Illusionary Death
by yukuro
Summary: Through an act of impulse, Sasuke is unexpectedly confronted by the person he fears and hates most. When his weakness is exposed, can he maintain himself? Or will Itachi beat him at the game again? [slight ItachixSasuke]


**Disclaimer:** Naruto and all the characters belong to Kishimoto-sensei. I only own my demented plotline :D

**Note:** This takes place before Itachi reappeared in Konoha Gakure. Therefore Sasuke is not as strong yet and kind of unstable.

Illusionary Death

By: yukuro

Someone was always watching. Never alone even when the doors and windows of his home and heart were shut tight; he knew someone was always watching. Always watching silently and calmly, patiently observing every move he made. But then, every time he turned around, there was only darkness and no one stood behind him. Even as he scraped for the tiniest beams of light, the weight of that gaze would always be towering him from the dark.

"Sasuke, don't do anything stupid," Kakashi warned the boy seriously with no humor in his voice. How the situation of a C-rank mission became so complicated, he did not know. The only thing Kakashi could do at the moment was to protect his students. "Don't move until I tell—"

Eyes narrowed in both frustration and anger, Sasuke gripped the kunai in his hand tighter. He was restless yet tired, suffering from the dreams that haunted his sleep. The past few nights, all that carefully replayed in his mind was the same dream over and over.

A familiar face with an almost forgotten smile gazed down at him with sharp eyes that mirrored his own. Those eyes were supposed to be cold and dark the way Sasuke believed they were, but somehow they were disturbingly warm. "Sasuke," the familiar voice would breath softly, the foreign smile gracing those familiar lips, "do you still love your brother?"

Every night, Sasuke could feel his mind being stretched and pulled apart until it shattered, destroying his soul. That now distanced smile was crushing his heart. As much as he hated it and as much as he fought against his same response every night, it would never change. Somehow, even when he knew what lay ahead, he would always respond, "Yes."

The smile would slowly spread into a smirk, the smiling face that Sasuke knew he could only see in a dream melted together like wax and became the face that he knew now: a heartless murder. "Sorry, Sasuke," those taunting lips would whisper and those mirror-image eyes of his own became red like blood. As another knife stabbed into his heart each night, the last words uttered before light flooded back into his eyes were, "That was the wrong answer, little brother."

This was a weakness and he knew already. His distant dream of finding the brother that would smile for him everyday was a weakness, hindering him from truth and reality. It was weakness to cling to the lingering bit of love for that brother that always treated him with care. He had to purge all these feelings at once and remember that his dream had to die for his goal. For Sasuke, there was never time for him to slow down and be weak; after all, that heavy burden of a gaze was still weighing on his back.

The harsh sound of shuriken stars whizzing through the air brought Sasuke back to the present. Eyes darting to a direction on his left, he quickly muttered to himself, "There!" before dashing off without warning.

Kakashi mentally sighed as he threw another kunai in a seemingly random direction. His eyes followed Sasuke as the boy disappeared as he mumbled, "That was just the kind of stupid thing I was warning you about."

"That damn Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, frown of annoyance appearing on his face. "He's trying to steal all the glory for himself again!" Just as the blond was about to take off after his rival, a firm grip on his collar made him pause in order to prevent being strangled. Shooting a somewhat whining expression up at his instruction, Naruto grumbled loudly, "Kakashi-sensei!"

"If you go after him now, you'll be in more danger than he is," Kakashi said sharply as he loosened his grip on the boy. "Let's quickly seal this area off first and then chase after Sasuke. Like this, we may be able to reduce the enemies he'll encounter up ahead."

Naruto's expression became further irritated and Sakura began to look worried, but neither moved from their station. This was a tough assignment and a single slip-up could cost more than just the mission. Doing their best to push Sasuke to the back of their minds, the two quickly regained their position.

Darting from tree to tree, Sasuke kept his eyes locked on the dark figure rushing ahead of him. He had little doubt that he could catch the man, but still something felt wrong about the situation. The whizzing of kunai through the air soon confirmed his suspicions.

Cursing his stupidity for not noticing that he was chasing a kage bunshin, Sasuke quickly leaped to the side to avoid being hit. It was only too easy to dodge the weapons, but a lone figure in the trees below caught his eye and suddenly it felt as if his heart momentarily stopped. Although he remained frozen for only a second, it was all the time needed for a kunai to hit his leg and send him toppling down to the ground.

The forest ground was hard and rocky, twisting Sasuke's ankle when he attempted to land properly. Sasuke quickly pulled the kunai out of his leg, trying to ease himself of a bit of the pain. He felt his enemy near, but his leg refused to move. As the enemy advanced from behind, the only thing Sasuke could do was grip a kunai and wait for his chance to block.

The moment he spun around, blood splattered on his face. Sasuke's eyes widened slightly as his attacker suddenly spat blood out before him as a silvery weapon shot out of the trees and connected to his neck. In a second, he was dead and Sasuke remained immobile before the corpse. That moment, a chill passed him and the burden of a gaze on his back became a bit heavier.

"It's been a long time, Sasuke."

Freezing for only a moment, Sasuke felt his blood boil and before he could bother to think, he threw a kunai at the source of the voice. At the same time he wished it was who he thought it was and not so at the same time. It was his goal to kill that person, but now was too soon.

Kunai caught neatly between his fingers, the tall figure advanced upon Sasuke's shaking form struggling desperately to rise to his feet. "So angry and hot-tempered," his calm voice commented as he dropped the boy's weapon to the ground, making Sasuke freeze yet again, "were you always this way, little brother?"

"Shut up," Sasuke snapped, not daring to face the figure. His fists shook visibly and his weapons threatened to slip from his fingers at any second. "I have no brother," he stated sharply, eyes straight ahead. "The brother I knew already died a long time ago."

"That's right, you have two friends and a teacher that love you more than anyone else, right?" the figure chuckled in an icy voice, a trace of a smirk appearing on his lips. Slowly, he took a few steps closer to the younger boy on the ground. "You say that, but you'll still always call me 'brother,' won't you, Sasuke? Are you willing to throw that little family of yours away for your goal?"

"Don't come near me," Sasuke demanded icily through gritted teeth, as he attempted to stop the shaking in his hand. Still, he did not dare turn around. Already his blood began to boil, but and yet his heart felt cold at the same time. "Why do you know about them?"

Before Sasuke's senses could realize that person was already behind him, cool hands reached from behind him to touch his face. Sasuke felt his eyes widen and his body freeze in fear as the warm breath of a chuckle tingled on the back of his neck, stiffening his nerves and making his heart jolt in his chest.

"Don't you already know? I'm always watching you."

Without thinking, Sasuke pushed the hand away from his face and swung his kunai back with high speed. He quickly pushed himself away, as much as he could on his pained ankle, and for the first time turned to look back at the person he most greatly wanted to see but also did not want to see.

Sasuke's heart nearly stopped.

"Sasuke," Itachi said almost cheerfully with a foreign smile on his face, nostalgic and almost as if he were a child again, "do you still love your brother?"

"Go…go away!" Sasuke exclaimed, eyes wild with fear and near insanity. He forced his mind to scream at him to awaken from this dream; awake from this repeating dream—no, nightmare. Even if he was asleep, he did not know how much longer he could stand to be killed by those hands. As he pushed himself to his feet with all his might, the unbearable pain in his ankle made him realize he was not in a dream. It was really his brother before him and he was really too afraid to even move let alone kill him.

"You're hurt," Itachi commented from behind Sasuke in a tone that sounded vaguely like cold amusement. "You really shouldn't be moving so much."

"What do you care?" Sasuke demanded through gritted teeth as he struggled along. "I'll kill you. I will definitely kill him…Uchiha Itachi."

"Then do it, Sasuke," Itachi said smoothly, easily moving to block Sasuke of his path. His eyes glowed crimson red as his words shot daggers through his brother's chest. When Sasuke froze, he reached out and flicked his forehead. "Go ahead and see if you can, my foolish little brother."

"S-Shut up!" Sasuke nearly screamed with eyes filled with confusion, insanity eating away at his consciousness. As he raised his kunai to leave a long scratch down the side of his brother's face, he continued to exclaim to reassure himself, "You're a dream! Disappear already! Go away or I'll kill you!"

Ignoring the blood that was beginning to spill from the slash on his face, Itachi reached over and tightly took hold of Sasuke's shaking arms by the wrist. Sasuke would always be the only one Itachi would let see his blood. Once those disbelieving dark eyes finally met his own, Itachi muttered with little care, "Are you hurt, Sasuke?"

"Shut up!" Sasuke could only repeat over and over again. He turned his eyes away, but the grip on his wrist was too strong to be broken. "I'll kill you…"

Itachi's eyes narrowed as his grip grew tighter. "You're far too weak as you are now. Your hate isn't strong enough. You know why that is, don't you?"

Biting down on his lip to prevent himself from crying out, Sasuke clenched his fists in attempt to sink his nails into the other boy's wrists. He wished this was a dream but the pain was too real. The burning gaze that felt as if it could set his head aflame still glared down upon him. He was helpless and he hated to be this way. "You…you're just a dream…"

In one swift motion, Sasuke felt himself being lifted off the ground. Before he could understand the situation, he was lifted onto the other boy's back. Pain and confusion engulfed Sasuke, washing back memories that seemed so far away. His eyes slipped shut for only a second and in the next, Sasuke held a kunai up to his captor's neck with his red sharingan eyes blazing. "What are you doing?"

"For the sake of letting you understand your weakness, I'll give you one day in this dream that you want so badly," Itachi replied calmly as he balanced his younger brother's weight on his back.

"Don't mess around," Sasuke threatened dangerously, his grip tightening on his kunai. "The only thing I want is to kill you."

"We'll see if you even can," the older boy responded smoothly, making no move to release Sasuke. Ignoring the kunai pressed at his neck, he silently began to walk.

Even as Itachi continued to walk in silence with no killing intention, Sasuke felt too vulnerable. His hand that held the kunai to his brother's neck was shaking harder with every step. His heart pounded so loudly, he was sure Itachi could have heard with their bodies so close together.

As much as Sasuke tried to fight it, his heart no longer pounded from fear or anxiety. It pounded from a hope that Sasuke had fought so hard to diminish. Why was it that this hope that he had locked away tightly in the deepest corners of his soul suddenly able to boil back up again with the faint familiar scent of the kind brother he had once dreamed about? It was painful. Sasuke knew far better than anyone else what his own weakness was.

With sight of that long, elegant hair, strong arms that still felt so smooth, Sasuke was suffocating from his memories. The only thing that reminded him that it was no longer the past was that now, the embrace felt cold. Though the body carrying him was warm and gave off that intoxicating scent that was uniquely his brother's, Sasuke could only feel the cold embrace around him. The past could never be retrieved. Against his will, Sasuke's eyes slowly drooped closed.

It was cool hands upon his chest that awoke Sasuke again. His head spun and his vision grew hazy from the fever that his twisted ankle had induced. As the figure that was carefully nursing his wounds became clear again, Sasuke could only wonder why. Why was he still alive? Why had he not killed this person who he had always wanted to kill?

"You're too weak, little brother," Itachi muttered, as if responding to Sasuke's thoughts. Just as ice had began to form again in Sasuke's heart, something strange happened. Itachi smiled slightly as he did when he was young and in a teasing voice he stated, "These wounds are a sign, aren't they? No need to worry though. Little wounds like these will disappear with just one lick."

At that moment, Sasuke's will shattered. That smile was too much. His mind cried out in anguish and confusion, but his body was unable to move. This truly was the faint childish dream Sasuke had been clinging to; the dream that made him too frightened and weak to go against his brother. Though his consciousness screamed it was all a trick, Sasuke still could not stop himself.

A single arm raised slowly into the air towards the person sitting at his side in the cold, dark room. "Nii…san…"

"You shouldn't move," Itachi muttered, taking hold of the boy's hand. He sighed in a way that truly made him seem like his old self again. "You're still the reckless little brother I remember."

Though he knew it was a lie, a dream, an illusion, Sasuke could not let go. As his brother held his feverishly warm hand with his own slim, cool one and scolded him for his carelessness, Sasuke felt like a child again. The stronger part of his heart tried to summon up as much of the hate he had always had, but his weakness had consumed him.

"You have a fever, don't you?" the older boy commented softly, pressing his forehead against his younger brother's as he tucked the smaller body underneath his long cloak. "You'll have to grow stronger faster, Sasuke. One day you may die like this. Especially considering the way you're…"

Sasuke sat up and fell forward onto his brother's chest. He hated this illusion and yet wished it would never disappear all at once. When he felt that hand upon the top of his head in a gentle pat, Sasuke knew he would go crazy. Closing his eyes, he felt his fists tighten. Bloodstained hands were touching him but he did not bother to move away. Instead, as his brother's face drew closer, Sasuke leaned up and licked away the blood that had spilled from the cut on the side of Itachi's face.

"Nii-san…don't disappear anymore…"

The body that held Sasuke tightened for a moment before moving to lay the younger boy down again. "Still such a child," the older boy muttered with a strange-sounding fondness. "First you tell me to disappear and the next you tell me not to. You really are unstable, aren't you?"

Sasuke could only stare up feverishly underneath the long black cloak as his brother moved to hover over him. Again he could not move when his hands were pinned over his head with a single one of the older boy's hands. Sasuke could only stare up with empty eyes at the face that drew steadily closer to him.

Long strands of silk-like hair tickled Sasuke's face. Itachi slowly drew closer to his lifeless expression little brother until his lips neared his ear. Quietly, he breathed, "Sasuke…do you still love your brother?"

Even as he noticed out of the corner of his eye his brother's other hand reaching slowly into his pocket, Sasuke remained motionless. His body hurt, his mind hurt, but most of all, his heart screeched in pain. He was doomed to repeat his dream over and over again until his strength could one day improve. Closing his eyes, he whispered back, "Yes."

Itachi's kunai glinted in the faint light that had managed to enter their dark surroundings. "Sorry, Sasuke," he whispered as he leaned over to press one last cold kiss on his brother's forehead. "That was the wrong answer, little brother. The wounds you'll receive from your weakness won't be able to disappear anymore with just a lick.

"Grow up, Sasuke. Hate me until you want to explode. Forget about this dream. It will never come true again. You can't forget who you are, Sasuke. Aren't you the avenger? Don't face me again until you're strong enough to kill me. This dream is reaching its end. Next time we meet, I will treat you as my enemy and I expect you to as well, my foolish little brother."

Despite Sasuke's blurring vision, the reappeared red sharingan hovering over him were bright and clear, as well as the kunai tracing the tender skin above his heart. That gaze burned him from the inside out, but he still could not move.

"Let this be a reminder for next time," Itachi whispered, running the side of his hand across Sasuke's face before bringing the kunai back down to his chest. Slowly, he sank the sharp blade into the skin and savored the sound of Sasuke's painful cries. In a flash, he carved the word "fukushuusha," avenger, over his brother's heart.

Once the younger boy's cries of pain subdued, Itachi leaned over and licked away the excess blood, making Sasuke flinch from the cold pain mixed with warmth. Licking his lips, Itachi returned his gaze to his brother's face. "Uchiha blood is quite bitter, isn't it, Sasuke?"

Tracing a finger over the wound to acquire some blood, Itachi smeared the blood over the boy's lips and watched with sinister amusement as a wave of disgust crossed Sasuke's face.

"Bitter, isn't it?" Itachi asked, releasing the boy's wrists. His eyes narrowed slightly as Sasuke painfully lifted his arm to wipe his lips with the back of his head. "The trouble is, you know…"

Without warning, Sasuke jumped up and lapped up the rest of the blood that stained Itachi's fingers. He even sank his teeth in a little until he could taste more.

"…once you get a taste, it's hard to not want more. Am I right, Sasuke?"

Sasuke felt his surroundings swim around him. Even his brother's face seemed to fade away as his head grew more and more dizzy.

"Physical death is only the illusionary death of the soul," Itachi muttered as Sasuke's vision continued to grow weaker, "To be forgotten is one's true death. Don't forget your hate, Sasuke, unless you really want to die."

The surroundings grew too dark and fuzzy. The only things Sasuke could still see were two blazing red eyes that shone in the dark. He reached out towards those eyes but only felt a few thin strands of that silk-like hair tangled around his fingers again.

"As long as I haunt your dreams and your hate for me deepens, at least you will never be able to forget me."

And then, as the world became dark, Sasuke faintly heard familiar voices calling out his name.

xxx xxx xxx

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Naruto and Sakura jumped to their feet as soon as their teacher turned the corner towards them. Both ignored the started nurses at their sudden outburst and ran through the hospital halls to their teacher.

"How's Sasuke-kun!"

"Sasuke…that jerk better not have died!"

Kakashi sighed and brought a hand to his head. Calmly, he stated, "Calm down, you two. People are starting to stare."

In a more serious manner, Kakashi glanced once over his shoulder towards Sasuke's hospital room before directing his two other students into a corner with no one around. "Sasuke is fine. He has a few small cuts and bruises, as well as a twisted ankle, but that's all. It seems his attacker put him in a powerful genjutsu."

Running a hand through his hair, Kakashi gazed towards Sasuke's room once again. "That kind of illusion made Sasuke see the person he wanted to see the most. It's a mere coincidence that the person Sasuke wants to see most is also the person he fears the most. There are a few things that are puzzling though."

Naruto's blue eyes grew serious with concern as he gazed up at his teacher. His heart pounded strangely in fear though he did not know why. "What…else is there?"

"When we found Sasuke and killed his attacker, Sasuke was grasping some hair. The hair he was holding onto was long and dark, whereas I'm sure you remember the attacker we caught had short, light colored hair," Kakashi explained with a thoughtful expression.

"There's also that strange-looking cloak we found with Sasuke-kun," Sakura whispered quietly, eyes straying to the ground. "The black one with red clouds… I wonder who it was that Sasuke-kun wanted to see the most."

Kakashi closed his eyes. Quietly, he responded, "We may never know. Whoever it was, that person is very important to Sasuke. Man or woman, friend or enemy."

Owari.

**A/N:** This is the first Naruto fic I completed although it's not the first one I posted. Heh. I felt this plotline was so complicated at times, I kind of got lost as I was writing it. Demented and dark as it is, I rather like it. I always did have a weak spot for brothers. x) Sasuke and Itachi love! XD

Anyway, I think I owe an **explanation/clarification** for what just happened in this fic. The unanswered question I was hoping to impose on the readers was whether Itachi was really there or it was just an elaborate part of Sasuke's delusional state.

Now, I'm sure Sasuke probably knows when genjutsu is genjutsu, but I was trying to show that he's rather vulnerable in his feverish condition. Then there's the question of whether or not he really is ready to kill his brother yet. Although he seems mostly mentally prepared, he's still quite young and judging from his progress in the series, while he can easy say he'll kill someone, it seems like he's not quite emotionally prepared yet. What's to be expected? He's still just a child after all, right?

XP That was my rambling explanation for Sasuke's strange characterization in this fic. Hope it, the fic of course, was still at least somewhat enjoyable.

Thanks for reading!


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